Dr. Carter gives us 5 tips, let’s see about making 5 new habits:

1. Get enough sleep.

Okay, sleep is a complicated place to start.  There are a lot of important habits to develop to have a good sleep life.  If you are getting less than 7-9 hours per night, pick one of these habits to get started:  1. Get out of bed at the same time every day.  2. Start a nighttime routine 1 hour before your bedtime each night.  This could include things like showering, brushing/flossing teeth, setting out your clothes for the next day, saying prayers, reading, stretching, time with significant other, etc.  3. Keep the bed and/or bedtime for sleep & sex only.

2. Meditate for five minutes a day.

This one is simple.  Meditate for five minutes a day.

3.Lay off the cocktails.

Another complicated one.  Well the first thing is to ID if drinking is getting in the way of creating changes you want in your life.  If the answer is yes, try taking a break from alcohol while you are establishing new lifestyle patterns.  You can also try saving the alcohol for other times.  For example, if you have trouble with overeating at parties but not at home, take a break from alcohol at parties, but happily have a nightly glass at dinner.

4. Make a plan for dealing with the temptations you will face.

Habitize: Write out a list of potential problems & hurdles and your planned reactions (one reaction that should always be included is “blowing it” and then forgiving yourself and getting back on track).  Then go through this list & visualize your reactions for 5 minutes a day.

5. Remind yourself WHY you are doing what you are doing, and what you will lose if you give up.

Again, make a list and/or short card which states your key reasons for changing.  Read this to yourself once or more per day.  Try to connect to the emotion behind your reason and your shifting self-definition.

Well, didn’t quite make 5 new habits out of the 5 tips, but I think we’re on to a good start.  What are some of your ideas about how to implement these tips into your lives?

When it comes to serious and well-entrenched problems, I recommend you look for a therapist trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and specifically exposure techniques.  However, you may find this counter-avoidance habit helpful for more every day matters.   The habit itself is quite simple:

Whenever you catch yourself avoiding or putting something off, start it immediately for 2 minutes.

For example, if you have paperwork to do and it pops in your head to check a youtube video, that is your signal to start the paperwork immediately and spend at least 2 minutes on it.  If you need to make an unpleasant phone-call and start to put it off, start it right away for 2 minutes.

The 2 minutes is just enough to get you started, but you know you’ll be able to stop after that if you choose to, which makes it just a little bit easier to actually do it.  Of course, some things, like a phone call, you might not be able to discontinue in the middle.  If you can still get yourself to start immediately, great, go with it!  Otherwise, you might instead choose to spend 2 minutes getting ready for the call.  Getting your phone out.  Pulling up the contact information.  Dialing the number.  Jotting down the points that you want to express.

The key is to identify your own avoidance tendencies. Is it a certain type of work (e.g. writing, boring paperwork, making choices, researching, etc.)?  Is it potential conflict?  Is it a type of feeling (anger? sadness? anxiety?)  What do you tend to do when you are avoiding?  Do you do busy work?  Do you go chat with friends?  Do you go online?  Do you just try to ignore things?  Do you reach for food?   Write down what you tend to avoid and how you do it.  You may find it helpful to specify the habit further.  For example, if you tend to avoid writing by doing busy work, you might work on this habit: Whenever I catch myself avoiding writing, I will start it immediately for 2 minutes. If I catch myself doing busy work, I will check if I have a writing project that I might be avoiding.

What do you tend to avoid?  What counter-avoidance habit would you find helpful?

Here are the problems with TrueTwit as I see them:

1.  You are adding to the “noise” of twitter by sending out automatic DMs and asking people to jump through hoops

2. Unless you get a paid account, you cannot stop TrueTwit from sending messages out to everybody who follows you.   This is just very sketchy to me.  I would love to be registered, so I would not have to fill out more captchas.  Why should I have to pay to be able to not spam people?

3. The whole “validation” process is laughable.  They don’t require validation from anybody who has registered, and I’m sure all the spambots out there take the time to create an account.  So you are only asking for validation from people who haven’t chosen to subject others to TrueTwit.

The whole thing is engineered to advertise TrueTwit, and I will no longer support it by having an account or filling out captchas. Please join me in #NoTrueTwit

Habit: before adding any new information source, remove an information source.

My main sources are google reader and twitter lists.  So, following this habit, I unsubscribe to one feed before adding a new feed, and unfollow one twitter account before adding another to a list.

If you are already overloaded, double the removes so this habit would be:

Habit: before adding any new information source, remove two information sources.

Mindfulness is essentially focusing on the present moment & letting go of thoughts and worries about the past and future.  Take the time to expand your awareness, notice what you see, smell, taste, hear, and feel.  Feel the physical sensations.  Notice, but don’t attach to thoughts that come into your consciousness.  Practice non-judgmental acceptance of your present experience.

Some daily activities that you can practice mindfully:  cooking, brushing your teeth, straightening up, washing your hands, walking to the restroom.

Please share any ideas for other activities that are chances for mindfulness practice.

Over the years, I’ve cobbled together a system for processing my email which has taken me from a high of over 2,000 emails in my inbox to close to zero*.  I’ve integrated ideas from a few places, including Getting Things Done (GTD) and Inbox Zero.  Gmail’s filtering, archiving, and keyboard shortcuts keep things simple and speedy.

Philosophy:

We have way too much information coming at us.  We all have limited time and brain capacity. To make room for what really matters in life, we need to do the following things: Process all e-mails once and only once, corral e-mail time so it doesn’t take over the day, keep things as simple as possible,  and get rid of the 80% of e-mails that really don’t matter.

Set up:

Gmail: 1. Enable Send & Archive; 2. Enable keyboard shortcuts

Task manager you can add tasks to via e-mail (Here’s how for Toodledo)

Flowchart:

Before starting:

• Schedule 1-3 times each day to process e-mail (only check more often than this if it is essential to your job).
• At the beginning of each processing session, ground yourself with a few deep breathes.
• Set your intention for processing.  Ask yourself what are your most important projects?  What 1 or 2 tasks will you gain the most from completing today. Your intention may be to keep in mind your priorities and let things go that don’t support them.
• Consider setting a time limit for processing.  I usually limit my processing to 15 minutes.

Processing:

• Open the top e-mail (o)
• Ask, “Does this really matter?”
  Quickly scan the subject and sender (& message body as needed.)  Hopefully, you have in your mind your priorities.  Does this really make a difference in achieving those priorities?  Are there consequences  to ignoring the e-mail?  Try to go with your gut.
• -> No.  Archive immediately ([).
  If this is an e-mail that never matters, for example from a listserv or an online shopping site, make a filter for it. (. then “filter messages like these”)
  I send all my coupons and online shopping e-mails straight to “Shopping” and listservs and newsletters to “Lists.”  It’s then easy for me to check for sales and coupons when I am looking to buy something  or to see what is in my Lists folder when I feel like reading.
• -> Maybe. Archive immediately ([).
  If you aren’t sure it matters, it probably doesn’t.  The beauty of archiving is that if it turns out to be important, you can easily retrieve the e-mail.  99 times out of 100, if something really matters, you will  be reminded about it some other way.
  Aim for clearing about 75% of your e-mail by archiving No’s and Maybe’s.
• If it does matter, ask yourself what you need to do with it
• Delegate
  Forward the e-mail & archive
  If you need to check on the progress later, you can use a service like followup.cc or a gmail filter
• Act
  * If it will take you 2 min or less, just do it. Then archive the e-mail ([).
  * Otherwise, add it to your todo system.
  I use Toodledo, which you can add tasks to through e-mail.  I just forward (f) to my special toodledo e-mail (which I named “toodleadd” in my contacts).  The subject line will be the task name, so I edit as needed.  If you are following GTD you can add @context, #due-date, and *project (for example, “Call client regarding color scheme @phone #tomorrow *clientA”)   I like to keep things simple, so I will usually only use #due-date, and then only if I really need it.
  I use send & archive (<esc> then <tab> then <enter>).  This takes me back to the inbox, so I press “o” to go to the next e-mail.
• Schedule
  If the e-mail is about an event or appointment, add it to calendar.  Then, archive ([).
• File
  Archive ([).  If needed, label (l) then archive ([).  Usually archiving is sufficient.
  I also like to set up filters that label e-mails from people who usually communicate with me about a particular project or job.  For example, students who are working with me on research get the label “Research”  This way all I need to do is archive.

* For a little bit of flexibility:  You can use the “j” shortcut to go to the next e-mail without archiving or acting on it.  It isn’t always realistic to process everything “perfectly,” and allowing yourself a little leeway will  help keep things moving along.

Wrap up:
When you’ve emptied your inbox, close gmail.  If you can stand it, only open it for specific tasks until your next scheduled processing.

I hope you found this helpful.  I would love to hear in the comments your gmail and email tips.

Source: Huffingtonpost

Soul-Talk: Why Your New Year’s Resolution Just Won’t Work

Ever wonder why those New Year’s resolutions don’t ever seem to work out? While it probably makes sense to work out more regularly, stick to a better diet or work on that bad habit, you have probably selected the wrong focus. If you want things to be different this time around, what you really need to do is ask yourself a few more questions rather than seeking a few more goals.

 

Let’s start with why going to the gym, dieting or stopping smoking matters in the first place. No one goes to the gym because going to the gym is the goal. If you have gym on your resolution list, ask yourself why going to the gym matters.

 

Once you get your first answer to “why gym,” take it another level deeper and ask “why does that matter.” You may have to go several levels deeper before you wind up with what really matters to you. For example, I recall working with Rob a few years back. He really wanted to get into a routine of working out at the gym three times a week. When I asked why that was important, he said he wanted to get back into shape. “Why is getting back into shape important?” I asked. “So I’ll feel good about myself.”

 

You can imagine where this might be heading. Sure, he didn’t feel good about himself in part because of his physical condition, but there were more significant issues underneath all that physical level image stuff. When I asked him if there were other things that made him feel not so good about himself, he began to open up to what really mattered to him.

 

He said that he had a sense of having let himself down over the years, picking goals and then shrinking from them. Underneath all of that he found that he lacked self-confidence, and along with that came a low sense of self-worth or self-esteem.

 

We then turned our attention to what would be true if he had more self-confidence and a greater sense of self-esteem. As we worked on these questions, he became increasingly aware of what really mattered to him, and he began to glow. The more he became aware of the difference between his inner and outer areas of focus, it was a pretty simple process of asking him to imagine how he would like to experience himself in the process of setting and accomplishing his goals. …he wanted to experience greater self-confidence and self-esteem.

 

The more he began to focus on building his sense of well-being and self-esteem, the more he began to realize that what he really wanted was to experience himself in alignment with a deeper aspect of who he truly was. This sense of inner alignment is often referred to in the worlds of psychology and personal development as having integrity or being authentic.

 

One useful definition of being authentic means presenting outwardly that which is also true inwardly, while having integrity can mean simply being “one with what is.” Rob was beginning to discover that his self-esteem and self-confidence issues arose less from what he did with his physical body and more from how well he reflected who he truly is in his day-to-day life. In other words, his quality of life came more from how he presented himself in the world than it did through what he did in the world.

…Read more

Habit #1: Repeat this affirmation daily: “I live my life with authenticity and make choices that are aligned with my soul.”
Details: It can help to set reminders throughout the day, for example using a smartphone app (such as a mindfulness bell or reminder app), or reminders on outlook or google calendar, and/or posting reminders around work and home.
Pass: At least saying the affirmation once a day

Habit #2: When setting a goal/planning, ask “why it matters?” and keep drilling down until get to what is really important to me.
Details: This is especially important as a habit for people who are constantly telling themselves they “should” do this or that, constantly planning and setting goals, but not really following through.

How would you break these ideas down into workable habits?

I’ve set up a 12 Habits for 2012 challenge, which may be straying from simplicity a bit, but sounds fun to me.  However, in the name of simplicity, what is one goal for 2012 and one habit you can start today that will help move you in that direction?  Post it here and/or on twitter (#1habit or #habitspark)

For me, my one goal is to stay connected to myself so I can recognize & meet my needs.  The habit I am starting with is to check in hourly.

Thanks to @CeeThoughts for sharing these lovely photos:

Napa Valley

So, in order to spend less time ‘checking’ and more time creating, I’m going to start a new habit:

Use the ‘check’ (twitter mentions, retweets, facebook comments, subscribes, posts, etc.) as a reward for spending at least 15 minutes on content.  Check one thing at that time and go back to creating.

Do you think this habit would help you?  How would you tweak it to make it right for you?  Please share in the comments below.

If you’d like to learn the habitspark method, try the Habitspark 7-Day Jumpstart.